Much more fun than online dating

I was asked recently about the efficacy of online dating, and for those of you who read my blog, you already know that I have a lot of reservations about online dating.

Instead, I want to suggest an alternative that cuts out a lot of neurotic behaviors and should be a lot more fun.

If you’re convinced that you haven’t met interesting people nearby (i.e., in the same state,) maybe you should try a standing social + activities group.  For example, I came across a group recently on Meetup.com called Social Fun.  For a joining fee of under $6/year, you get to go to locally-organized activities like hiking, eating out, dancing, kayaking, etc.  The premise is that you meet someone interesting, have fun doing something together, and maybe you’d like to see the person again without the pressure of having to decide whether you’re dating or not.

Wow!  No second-guessing whether your profile picture and write-up are doing you justice, face-to-face versus virtual interactions from the start, safe because there are others with you, meet a number of people rather than be trapped with only one stranger, and in a no-pressure environment where the only expectation is that you all have fun.  And, if you’d like to see someone again, just suggest to him/her that you both show up at the next event.  Sounds like a good plan to me!

P.S.  Check out any group’s description, leadership, members, and fees first to make sure that they’re legit and isn’t a front set up to sell you something you don’t want.

 / 2 Comments  / in Dating, Meaningful Fun

2 Comments

  1. Matt Mackey June 5, 2012 7:14 pm - Reply

    I actually met my wife on Match.com and we are happily married with 2 kids, so I for one am a big advocate of online dating if you do your research, and are in it for the right reasons. But to touch on your other ideas, there is an athletic group in the Boston area called ” The Dizzy Llamas” and they are awesome. They have co-ed leagues for everything from Softball to Ultimate Frisbee and Dodgeball, and it is a great way to meet a group of people and not only possibly find relationships, but friendships as well.

    • opcadmin June 8, 2012 9:27 pm - Reply

      Hi Matt,
      Thanks for your comment. I know of two other couples who found each other via online dating sites and they remain happily married. So, yes–there are success stories.
      However, the success rate versus the amount of time and mindshare/emotional investment needed can be daunting at best, and isolating and discouraging at worst. So while online dating sites could be used as one way to find people outside your circles, broadening out to venues like Social Fun, The Dizzy Llamas, and other low-pressure activities that allow people’s real personalities to come out could enliven one’s existence without flattening one’s spirit. Keep those suggestions coming!

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