Dating

Much more fun than online dating

I was asked recently about the efficacy of online dating, and for those of you who read my blog, you already know that I have a lot of reservations about online dating. Instead, I want to suggest an alternative that cuts out a lot of neurotic behaviors and should be a lot more fun. If […]

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The Economist on Online Dating Efficacy

According to a new paper from Northwestern University as discussed in The Economist’s article, “The Modern Matchmakers,” a couple of things that I’ve theorized are now backed up by research: The volume of online and speed dating can make people focus too much on physical att...

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Signs Your Date Is a Narcissist

The majority of couples that split up do so because of problems communicating, or their values and lifestyle choices were irreconcilable, leading to a lack of intimacy and estrangement.  At the risk of sounding negative or paranoid, I would like to discuss the minority of couples with a serious pro...

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Let’s Tease Apart “Confidence”

When asked to describe what qualities would attract them to someone, most people list “being confident” as a must-have. While this quality is popular, it means different things to different people, so I looked up the definition.  They include: Dictionary.com:  Feeling or showing confi...

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What’s Your Attachment Style?

In my life coaching class, the trainer pointed us to an online self-assessment site administered by UPenn’s Dr. Martin Seligman, who heads their Positive Psychology Center. There is one test that may be useful in your dating life because it gives an easy-to-understand result along with a short...

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From dating to the magical 5:1 ratio

I received thumbs up on Post #10 from readers (male and female alike) who are currently in happy relationships — thanks for letting me know!  It seems that they view creating and maintaining their relationships an active, improvisational art, and they reap the rewards in overwhelmingly positi...

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Which chemistry is the right chemistry?

Having read a number of books written by single authors sharing their experiences playing the dating field (and who continue on in their single state at the end of the books, incidentally), I find that they all have difficulty determining the type of chemistry to prioritize. They generally give the ...

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Consider the quiet ones for a change

We visited friends this past week in the North Country–we’ll call the place Crystal Lake–where the cell signal is so weak you might as well shut the phone off. While enjoying the meditative state that inevitably sets in, I was drawn to the many parallels between this jewel of a pla...

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How to get to know a stranger quickly

A couple of days ago, I had a really interesting discussion with Alma about the challenges of getting to know people in the academic classroom setting, when it’s the only place where you have contact. I think a couple of the points from our discussion are applicable to the dating scene, especi...

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The difficulty of getting beyond the superficial stuff

I remember receiving the printed “face book” the first day I arrived at college. This was before the Internet was popularized, when the equivalent of online dating was through personal ads in newspapers. I’m sure that most of us in the class made conjectures about our classmates’ likabil...

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