Breaking the Bad

At the Grand Canyon by Selena Tan

As much as we like to believe that as individuals we have unlimited capacity–for fun and excitement, for work, for learning–the truth is that at some point, we top out or run into a wall.

Miraculous as we human beings are, there is a built-in, self-protective mechanism that says, “no more!” Sometimes we hit it faster than others. The trick is to figure out in what environment and under what demands we can function and hover at the maximum of our individual capacity.

One important thing to become aware of is the unnecessary burdens, in the forms of beliefs and emotional contracts, that one carry from a young age.

These burdens were created by our ingeniously complex minds combined with our deeply-felt emotions as response to what we observed and experienced. I call these unnecessary because while they served a purpose at one point–to help us make sense of the world we lived in–they hang around even though our world has most likely changed, and may not even resemble our past.

In working with my clients to leap forward, a shift in beliefs and new emotional contracts are generally called for. There is usually work to identify and separate the old that is good and valuable from the old that is bad because it serves little purpose and has the effect of limiting or draining one’s capacity.

So here’s to breaking the bad: a worthy pursuit that can free up space and energy in your personal cache of capacity.

 / 4 Comments  / in Creativity, Family history, Leadership
About Selena Founder of O Positive Coaching & HR Services


  1. Mel November 13, 2012 9:35 pm - Reply

    Amen to that, sister!

  2. Frsnk Lio November 14, 2012 3:08 am - Reply

    Very true. One of my early managers referred to this as a paradigm shift. What worked for us in the past does not necessarily work today. Successful people (and organizations) have to stay constantly aware (sense making) and practice “mindfulness” to detect and adjust to changes. We saw this recently during the elections. A party that arguably failed to see a demographic shift or keeps to old formulas loses big time. You may not be able to change where the wind is blowing but you can adjust the sails.

    • Selena November 14, 2012 4:18 am - Reply

      Thanks for the organizational spin on the posting, Frank. And I would add that an organization (or party) can shift only when the individuals within it have developed the awareness of the need to change and practice effective approaches. Top-down calls for change and innovation create cynicism if the leadership walk does not match the leadership talk.

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